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My Full Art Gallery
All of the pictures you’ve seen on this blog up to this point (except for memes) are either photos I’ve taken myself, family photos from my photo albums, or artwork I’ve created myself. Today I’ve decided to post a full compilation of the paintings and drawings I’ve created during the course of my recovery. After…
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I Can’t Fight
Does God see my anguish?Does God see my pain?And the burden I bearThat drives me insane?Does He ever see meWhen I cry in my bed?Does He see my broken spirit,Or the tears that I shed?This fight I’ve been going throughIs taking its toll.All the life and the joyBeing sucked from my soul.So that now I…
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Dear Past Self
This is a letter I wrote to my past self, unedited, taken straight from one of my journals. While I wrote this, I felt a huge amount of regret for not only how my husband’s porn use hurt my marriage, but regret over getting married period. Written roughly around January 2023, about six months after…
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The Mistress
This is the first and longest poem I’ve written about porn and betrayal. I wrote it roughly around 2017-2018. The MistressYour addiction is a mistressThat has occupied a room in your brain.A room meant for passion, intimacy, covenantal loveOh, how I long to be there with you.So I knock on the doorSeeking the one my…
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A Deeper Dive Into the Day I Broke the iPad
Today I’m going to take you on a deep dive into the day I broke this iPad. This is a really difficult story for me to share. This is my second “D-day” (Disclosure/Discovery day, the day you find out about your spouse’s infidelities or other sexual sin). My first D-day was more of a disclosure…
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100 Things I Need You to Know
Aaaand here’s list #2. This one really captures the emotional rollercoaster I was on. My thoughts were just all over the place. If you missed list #1, it’s right here. 100 things I need you (my husband) to know
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100 Things Your Porn Use Says to Me
I started this list and the one in the following post in the summer of 2022, when I was in the thick of betrayal grief, and it was one of the few ways I could actually communicate how painful it was to my husband. I shared both of these with him. List #2 is here….