The Emotional Rollercoaster, Part 1

I started this list and the one in the following post in the summer of 2022, when I was in the thick of betrayal grief, and it was one of the few ways I could actually communicate how painful it was to my husband. I shared both of these with him.

List #2 is here.

100 Things Your Porn Use Tells Me

  1. I love porn more than I love you
  2. I don’t value you or our marriage
  3. I don’t care about you
  4. You don’t matter to me
  5. I find porn stars more attractive than you
  6. I hate the way you look
  7. I hate the way you are
  8. This is all your fault
  9. Why did I marry you again?
  10. If you were more attractive, I wouldn’t be doing this
  11. I don’t love you like Christ loves the church
  12. Beat it!
  13. You’re not a good wife
  14. Leave me alone. I need privacy
  15. I’m not committed to you or our marriage
  16. I wanna break my vows
  17. You need to be better than porn to be worthy of my attention
  18. You don’t deserve my love and affection
  19. You should leave me
  20. I don’t like sex with you.
  21. I like the cheap sex w/o love and connection
  22. I like causing you pain and making you suffer.
  23. I don’t want to honor my vows to you
  24. I’m not safe to have children with. They’ll just get exposed and addicted, just like me
  25. I’m bad news
  26. I’d rather be alone with my porn than with you
  27. You’re fat, ugly, unattractive, plain, a prude, etc
  28. I like humiliating you and insulting you
  29. You’re a stupid, gullible idiot, and others would see that too if they found out.
  30. You’re not safe in this marriage.
  31. Our kids are not safe.
  32. I’m not a safe person.
  33. You don’t satisfy me
  34. I’m not happy with you
  35. You only like vanilla sex. Booooring!
  36. You’re no fun in bed
  37. I don’t ever plan to change
  38. You should get your tubes tied. You don’t want kids with me.
  39. I’d rather pay for sex than get it freely from you
  40. I’d rather watch other people have sex than actually participate in it.
  41. Marrying me was a mistake.
  42. I’m rejecting you
  43. I’m abandoning you.
  44. You’re such a prude
  45. I’m not gonna stop
  46. I love porn
  47. You’re trapped in this marriage.
  48. There’s no way out.
  49. You’re screwed. (Sike! I ain’t screwing you!)
  50. You can’t trust me.
  51. You’re stuck.
  52. I wish I never married you.
  53. You’re not available to me like porn is.
  54. You’re so high maintenance. You need love, attention, affection, faithfulness, etc and porn doesn’t require any of that.
  55. You’re pretty stupid for marrying me.
  56. You actually thought I could stay faithful to you? HAHAHAHA
  57. Oh, you’re heartbroken? I don’t care.
  58. I’m not protecting you from this. Forget it.
  59. Fooled you! HAHAHAHAAA
  60. Your boobs aren’t big enough
  61. You’re butt’s not big enough
  62. You’re not skinny enough
  63. You’re not sexy Enough
  64. You’re not worthy enough
  65. You’re just not enough!
  66. You mean nothing to me
  67. Our marriage means nothing to me
  68. You’re just a sexual object to me, not a person
  69. Porn is more important to me than you are.
  70. I think about other women when I have sex with you
  71. I defiled our marriage bed
  72. I’ve brought millions of women to our marriage bed
  73. You’re not my “one and only”
  74. I can’t experience total intimacy with you
  75. Our marriage was all a lie
  76. I broke our vows
  77. I’m sorry I got caught
  78. I’m sorry. Until I’m not
  79. Remind me to hide it better
  80. I don’t understand your pain.
  81. I don’t want to understand your pain.
  82. All guys do it
  83. I am literally incapable of being faithful to you.
  84. What? A porn-free marriage? Whoahh, that’s way too much to ask.
  85. Go ahead and live your best life without me. I won’t be joining you. I’m too busy watching porn.
  86. Our sexual experiences together mean nothing to me.
  87. You don’t turn me on
  88. You’re wasting your time with me
  89. You’re such a loser
  90. I’m too far gone. I’m a lost cause
  91. I hate myself
  92. The porn was here first.
  93. Porn is the one who deserves my attention and affections. Not you.
  94. Porn was my first love
  95. Porn was there when you weren’t
  96. Porn comforted me and satisfied me when you didn’t
  97. I’m a sad, lonely, pitiful person
  98. You don’t deserve me
  99. Porn is better than a relationship with you
  100. Porn will always and forever be competing with you for my attention.

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