I started this list and the one in the following post in the summer of 2022, when I was in the thick of betrayal grief, and it was one of the few ways I could actually communicate how painful it was to my husband. I shared both of these with him.
List #2 is here.
100 Things Your Porn Use Tells Me
- I love porn more than I love you
- I don’t value you or our marriage
- I don’t care about you
- You don’t matter to me
- I find porn stars more attractive than you
- I hate the way you look
- I hate the way you are
- This is all your fault
- Why did I marry you again?
- If you were more attractive, I wouldn’t be doing this
- I don’t love you like Christ loves the church
- Beat it!
- You’re not a good wife
- Leave me alone. I need privacy
- I’m not committed to you or our marriage
- I wanna break my vows
- You need to be better than porn to be worthy of my attention
- You don’t deserve my love and affection
- You should leave me
- I don’t like sex with you.
- I like the cheap sex w/o love and connection
- I like causing you pain and making you suffer.
- I don’t want to honor my vows to you
- I’m not safe to have children with. They’ll just get exposed and addicted, just like me
- I’m bad news
- I’d rather be alone with my porn than with you
- You’re fat, ugly, unattractive, plain, a prude, etc
- I like humiliating you and insulting you
- You’re a stupid, gullible idiot, and others would see that too if they found out.
- You’re not safe in this marriage.
- Our kids are not safe.
- I’m not a safe person.
- You don’t satisfy me
- I’m not happy with you
- You only like vanilla sex. Booooring!
- You’re no fun in bed
- I don’t ever plan to change
- You should get your tubes tied. You don’t want kids with me.
- I’d rather pay for sex than get it freely from you
- I’d rather watch other people have sex than actually participate in it.
- Marrying me was a mistake.
- I’m rejecting you
- I’m abandoning you.
- You’re such a prude
- I’m not gonna stop
- I love porn
- You’re trapped in this marriage.
- There’s no way out.
- You’re screwed. (Sike! I ain’t screwing you!)
- You can’t trust me.
- You’re stuck.
- I wish I never married you.
- You’re not available to me like porn is.
- You’re so high maintenance. You need love, attention, affection, faithfulness, etc and porn doesn’t require any of that.
- You’re pretty stupid for marrying me.
- You actually thought I could stay faithful to you? HAHAHAHA
- Oh, you’re heartbroken? I don’t care.
- I’m not protecting you from this. Forget it.
- Fooled you! HAHAHAHAAA
- Your boobs aren’t big enough
- You’re butt’s not big enough
- You’re not skinny enough
- You’re not sexy Enough
- You’re not worthy enough
- You’re just not enough!
- You mean nothing to me
- Our marriage means nothing to me
- You’re just a sexual object to me, not a person
- Porn is more important to me than you are.
- I think about other women when I have sex with you
- I defiled our marriage bed
- I’ve brought millions of women to our marriage bed
- You’re not my “one and only”
- I can’t experience total intimacy with you
- Our marriage was all a lie
- I broke our vows
- I’m sorry I got caught
- I’m sorry. Until I’m not
- Remind me to hide it better
- I don’t understand your pain.
- I don’t want to understand your pain.
- All guys do it
- I am literally incapable of being faithful to you.
- What? A porn-free marriage? Whoahh, that’s way too much to ask.
- Go ahead and live your best life without me. I won’t be joining you. I’m too busy watching porn.
- Our sexual experiences together mean nothing to me.
- You don’t turn me on
- You’re wasting your time with me
- You’re such a loser
- I’m too far gone. I’m a lost cause
- I hate myself
- The porn was here first.
- Porn is the one who deserves my attention and affections. Not you.
- Porn was my first love
- Porn was there when you weren’t
- Porn comforted me and satisfied me when you didn’t
- I’m a sad, lonely, pitiful person
- You don’t deserve me
- Porn is better than a relationship with you
- Porn will always and forever be competing with you for my attention.
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